“Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II... Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?” ~ Conan O'Brien

“If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.” ~ J. Russell Lynes